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10th. Apr, 2008 | 02:53 pm
i'm feeling: frustrated frustrated

where can you find an iron big enough to get the wrinkles out of a life?

what do you do when you have a situation that's out-of-control and you can't find a harmless way to fix it up?

shall i summarise? i'll try. though odds are it's just going to cause more problems...

i have to find a new place to live at the moment (a situation which seems to be haunting me these past three years). i would prefer to live alone. 's just how things work for me. i mean, were i partnered, i'd happily live with them, but living as a couple tends to have the same functionality as living alone. but, yeah... as a single person i'd like to find a place of my own where i could live without hinderance or obligation. i want to come and go as i please without worrying about bothering anyone else. i want to have people 'round when i want. i want to have overnight guests. i want to be able to wander naked and sing at the top of my lungs and not have to fit it into other people's schedules.

but i can't.

partially because it's almost fiscally impossible to get a decent place for less than $200 a week but also because i feel obligated to help provide a home for a friend of mine. they're essentially homeless (a predicament i'm familiar with myself) and i promised (at an earlier date) that when i found a place, if i had a spare room, they could rent from me until they could get a place of their own.

the intent there was to give it a couple months then get on with my life... but now it seems i'm stuck forever.

problem two is that she wants to be a couple... something in which i'm not currently interested. so living with her leaves me feeling restricted and monitored. and she's proven to be rather jealous even in the face of the fact that we're not an item.

i want out. but i can't escape my own feelings that i should be helping her. her life's been rather a mess and i just want to help get her on her feet... actually things seem to be progressing for her, but she really still needs guidance and stuff.

i'm being sucked into a morass of my own construction. *sigh*

it's so confusing i can't even think straight.

Comments {2}


From: zeemverse
Date: 10th. Apr, 2008 05:17 am (UTC)

you've dragged me into your @#$@$ drama. CROSSFACE.

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From: a nonny mouse
Date: 10th. Apr, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)

ah... but *you* i can happily lie with. we've proven that. and it was much like living alone but with a fairly close and fun neighbour.
i've no problems in living with you at all. andy i'm taking your word for. you say he's people, and he seems to be, so that's no sweat, too.

my monkey, however, is rather an albatross. if i may mix metaphors. and one that i will have to wear for a bit. thoug as i've said, you'll get along just fine. 's only me who has to live like a flanders to keep from hurting anyone. 8)

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